Dorothy's Tragic Death
by Quatregirl
Summary: Quatre goes to desparate measures to escape Dorothy. Written before my days of yaoi, not for 4xDC fans. PG for death and giant squids.


Dorothy's Tragic Death  
  
Quatre slumped into his chair. He wasn't having a good day. He lost a bet with Wu Fei, (never ever EVER lose a bet with Wu Fei) Sandrock lost its head...literally, and on top of it all, Dorothy had seemed to have picked today to go into super-annoying mode. She had followed him everywhere he had gone...the movies, the park, his own home, Peacemillion. Now Quatre just wanted a moment of peace. Was that too much to ask?  
  
"QUATRE!!!" Dorothy cried. "Where are you?!?!?" Apparently, peace WAS too much to ask for.  
  
"Oh crap." he moaned. "Here comes Dorothy. Again."  
  
"Hi Quatre." she said casually.  
  
"Go away, Dorothy. I'm having a bad day and you're gonna make it worse." Quatre grumbled.  
  
"Oh, you're having a bad day?" Dorothy cooed. She sat in Quatre's lap. "I can make it better." Just then, Duo happened to walk in.  
  
"Dorothy, what are you doing?" he asked, seeing Quatre's distressed expression.  
  
Dorothy looked quizzically at Duo. "I'm trying to seduce Quatre. Why?" Duo pointed at the now totally pissed off Quatre.  
  
"Oh, he always does that!" Duo rolled his eyes. Quatre got up and shoved Dorothy off of him.  
  
"Duo, help me!" Quatre squeaked. "She's lost all the marbles she still had! (which is not very many)"  
  
"I wish I could help you, Quatre, but I'm meeting Hildey to, er, have some fun." Duo winked. "I think Trowa can hide you, though. Now excuse me, but I have to go." Duo left already unbuttoning his shirt and undoing his braid. *sweat drop* Quatre nodded and went to Trowa's circus, begging for sanctuary.  
  
"Here, stay backstage. She won't find you here." Trowa instructed, shoving Quatre backstage before the performance. So Quatre watched the performance backstage, stress and Dorothy free.  
  
"That was so relaxing!" Quatre announced as Trowa came back. Suddenly and unexpectedly, Dorothy poked her head in.  
  
"Hi Quatre! Fancy seeing you here!" she cried. Quatre screamed bloody murder.  
  
"She followed me. How dare she follow me. If she follows me anywhere else, I SWEAR I'll commit suicide!!!" Quatre mumbled, still hyperventilating. "What's better, deadly injection or drowning...hmmm."  
  
"You don't get it, do you?" Trowa asked.  
  
"No, I don't understand..." Dorothy sighed, shaking her head, "...why he's being so shy!" She giggled insanely. Quatre pushed past Dorothy and headed to Heero's house, hoping he would find peace there.  
  
"Heero, you've gotta help me! Dorothy's driving me INSANE!!!" Quatre pleaded.  
  
"So, kill her." Heero said, not meaning to provide anything but his usual solution to any problem. A smile crossed Quatre's face.  
  
"That's a good idea. Can I borrow a gun?" Quatre asked. Heero looked bewildered.  
  
"Be my guest." He pushed a button and a wall flipped over, revealing a good fifty guns. Quatre looked overwhelmed.  
  
Later...  
  
Quatre sat in his living room and waited for Dorothy. He knew she would show up sooner or later.  
  
Sure enough, "Hiya, Quatre!!!" rang through the air.  
  
"Hi Dorothy." Quatre said, forcing a smile. "Nice t-t-to s-see y-yo-you." They walked down the hall, engaged in conversation. Well, at least Dorothy talked and Quatre put up with her annoying voice and her "wars aren't pointless" lectures. It was close enough to a conversation.  
  
"So, I know you're a great guy, and I'm sorry I stabbed you, and I'm sure we were meant to be together. And battles aren't pointless, they're a beautiful display of the human nature..." Dorothy rambled on, but to a delighted Quatre, it sounded like, "Blah, blah, blah, blah."  
  
When the conversation took an especially boring turn, they stopped in the middle of the corridor. Dorothy's pointless chatter continued.  
  
Quatre was about to pull the gun out, but a hatch opened underneath Dorothy and she fell into a dumpster. (like in Star Wars, complete with the giant squid creature) Quatre smiled.  
  
"I never knew that was there." he muttered. "Oh well."  
  
THE END  
  
Q.G.: I could never let Quatre kill anyone, so I let the giant squid tie up the loose ends. Unfortunately, Dorothy's carcass was never found, so she couldn't have a proper burial. So, well, er, that's the story of Dorothy's tragic death!  
  
Quatre: Tragic? You've gotta be kidding! I'm free at last!!!  
  
Hilde: Both of you, shut-up! You're scaring my new pet, Hamilton! Isn't he cute?  
  
Hamilton the giant squid creature: [with Dorothy's foot hanging outta its mouth] URP!!!  
  
Quatre: Hmm. You're squid has good taste. Er, food wise at least.  
  
Q.G.: So Hamilton ate Dorothy! That's why the body was never recovered!  
  
Quatre: I still can't believe you call Dorothy's death tragic.  
  
Q.G.: [whispering] Hey, I was trying to sound sympathetic!   
  
Hamilton the giant squid creature: Shlurp!!! [slurps the rest of Dorothy up like vermicelli]  
  
The REAL End  
  
Back to Stardust  
  
Fanfics  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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